This will be the last article I write as I am going to take a break over the Christmas holiday to spend with my family and I shall return on December 28th, six days from now.
Before we get started, I’d like to tell you all a story about how I, Your Editor, have been (since I started this series) accused of “teaching transwomen how to be more like women”.
No, seriously.
Come on, stop that laughing!
Really, it’s true! In fact, I’ll show you:
Let me just state this for the record:
I understand this person’s concern, really I do but this person is giving me far too much credit.
If I had the kind of power to teach TIMs and AGPs how to be more like women then think of the other powers I'd have; like the power to tell these knuckleheads to leave lesbians alone, stop trying to get into women's prisons, stop getting women cancelled/fired/arrested, stop getting women deplatformed and stop saying you're women.
Funny thing is I have said all this in my Stack and what do you think the net effect has been?
Exactly Fuck All.
No TIM or AGP is going to read my Stack and say, "Thanks, random blogger man, you have taught me a valuable lesson and, from now on, I will cease all attempts at being a woman. I will go forth and apologize to every woman on the planet for the colossal amount of douchebaggery so massive as to blot out the entire sun for all the things I've done."
If I could do that, I'd have single-handedly won the Gender War and you would make me Your King.
There would be statues of me in every park.
Hell, they'd even name high schools after me.
Parents would name their first born male children after me.
Women would want me and men would want to be me.
An entire nation, indeed an entire world, would weep in gratitude that I and I alone put an end to this nightmare.
For as long as TIMs and AGPs dress like this and post it to the internet, the chances of me getting all of them to cease and desist comes down to exactly two things: diddly and squat.
Not. Gonna. Happen.
Someone actually does need to tell many men who dress as women how to do it right, since so many of them are so very bad at it. Yes, that is inevitable if your "inner woman" consists of pornographic anime tropes, but our eyeballs would all benefit if these men would just educate themselves.
This is a service I am all too happy to provide. I will jump on this grenade so you won’t have to.
You’re welcome.
"Ridicule is the only potent weapon against an unintelligible proposition."
Satire and jokes are the kryptonite that renders gender pretentions powerless, which is why they react like the Wicked Witch to water.
You saw it with Chappelle. Keep laughing.
And with that, I give you Episode 4 of Cis Eye For The Trans Guy.
Okay, Susie Homemaker…
This ensemble is actually…okay. Not great, not horrible. Just…okay.
It’s a very safe, conservative, middle-of-road, man-on-top-get-it-over-quick-missionary-position. Not very daring, not bold, just very midwestern mom (not meant as an insult to midwestern moms, the bulwark that is the very fabric of America).
The pearls and bracelet are tasteful, not at all gaudy.
It is, however, very retro and I’d like to bring this one up to speed as he seems to be stuck in Leave It To Beaver land.
Now this is more like it! It still has all the elements of conservative style and taste but in a more 21st century today sense. The skirt is knee length and tasteful, the color schemes are well stated and instead of pink, a nice peach compliments your hair nicely.
June Cleaver is so 50s, dude. Get with the times!
That Hair, Tho…
I actually like what he’s wearing and his lipstick suits him perfectly, as does the eyeshadow and the eyebrows which, as far as I can tell, he must be an avid reader of this Stack as he’s nailed it perfectly and has paid close attention to detail.
Well done, you!
But that hair? Oh my…
Bangs are a no-no, especially on a square face like yours. What you want to go with is a uniform length.
To wit:
The monochromatic is okay and it’s fine to keep it if that’s what you like but perhaps maybe I could suggest something that would really set that ‘do off and really make things sizzle - highlights!
Now, let’s not go crazy with it! A raven like you, I think, could totally rock a peekaboo.
Yes! These lovely subtle accents in the raven-black mane will easily satisfy an edgy girl with a soft side buried deep down and this is perfect for someone with your tone and complexion.
Avoid: orange, red, unnatural colors. Especially pinks and blues.
A Cry For Help
I’m here, honey - we’re gonna get through this.
First off, the fishnets have to go. They make you look cheap and you’re not cheap, are you? Of course not! You’re a woman of refinement, taste and class.
Plus they do not go with what you have on which, by the way, needs to be tossed into the burn bag quick because…damn.
I mean….damn.
How shall I dress you today? Well, first off you’re a bit on the skinny side. You can add curves to your frame with peplum style dresses and tops. Bootleg jeans and trousers are great on skinny women too as they give the body extra shape and dimension. Skinny jeans will obviously look terrific.
Fabrics with some structure are great for creating the illusion of curve, but you don’t want to go do bulky as this can make you look rigid. If you want to accentuate your figure then clingy fabrics are great but if you want to add curve to your frame then avoid them and go for something thicker like wool.
Now I’ve just had a flash of brilliance: stripes! Wear horizontal stripes on the top half to give your body some added curves. Avoid wearing a lot of black as this can make you look slimmer than you are. Clothing with structure and a peplum top or dress can help give the illusion of a fuller figure.
And…voila!
I shall return on December 28th after a brief respite. In the meantime, please take a moment to consider a subscription of either $7/month or $70 a year (a bargain).