Misgendering In Michigan Will Soon Be A Crime

Residents In The State Could Get Up To Five Years In Prison Or A $10,000 Fine

Michigan, oh Michigan! Get ready to face the music if you dare to utter the wrong pronoun. The House of Representatives in the Great Lakes State has passed a shiny new hate speech bill, lovingly called HB 4474, that takes aim at your freedom of expression.

Under this delightful piece of legislation, you could find yourself behind bars for five long years or slapped with a hefty fine of $10,000. What heinous crime would warrant such punishment, you ask? Well, it's simple: using the wrong gender pronoun. Yes, you heard that right. If you accidentally refer to someone by a pronoun they don't prefer, you might as well kiss your freedom goodbye.

The bill generously includes "sexual orientation" and "gender identity or expression" as protected classes. So, if you happen to cause someone to feel "terrorized, frightened, or threatened" with your choice of words, including those pesky pronouns, you're in for some serious trouble. It's almost like the court will become a feel-o-meter, determining punishment based on how people feel. How novel!

Don't worry, though. The bill passed in the Democrat-controlled House by a slim margin of 59-50, and it's now off to the Michigan State Senate for more excitement. And if it manages to survive the scrutiny of the Senate, it'll be signed into law by none other than Governor Gretchen Whitmer.

Of course, some folks have raised concerns about this glorious piece of legislation. Those pesky Republicans, always crying foul, argue that it tramples on civil liberties and stifles freedom of expression. State Representative Steve Carra, a Republican, had the audacity to suggest that laws should be based on something other than an individual's feelings. Imagine that!

But wait, there's more! Even some non-Republicans have expressed their opposition to the bill. Professor Emeritus William Wagner, a constitutional law expert, warns that this legislation could be used to silence conservative voices. According to him, these laws have a knack for shutting down anyone who dares to hold a different viewpoint. Oh, the horror!

So, dear Michiganders, get ready to tiptoe through the pronoun minefield. Will you survive the perilous journey through the Michigan State Senate? Only time will tell. In the meantime, remember to choose your pronouns wisely, or else the long arm of the law might just come knocking on your door.