Why I Won't Date A Trans Man
I Concede Trans Men Are Women But I Won't Date Them For The Same Reason I Won't Date Trans Women.
Trans men, or as I call them - women.
Yes, I concede they are biologically female and that I, a heterosexual male, should find no problem dating a trans man because totes not gay.
Right?
Yeah…not so fast.
Two days ago I issued The Ferguson Challenge on Twitter and boy did those TRAs get bigly mad about it. They completely flipped the fuck out when I posted it, ranging from “we’re trying” (you’re not), “we don’t want to fuck you” (yes you do) and I even had no less than Katy Montgomery chime in with a “mate, I don’t want to date you”.
Katy - and I making a huge concession by calling you Katy and not dead-naming you - I am exactly the kind of straight, “cis” man you’d date in a heartbeat if given half the chance if it meant validation as the sex you think you are.
I have a job, make decent money, not into drink (in excess), smoking or drugs. When it comes to money I am very frugal, not growl my wages at the pub or on stupid shit, prefer to cook at home but not adverse to taking my significant other out to a nice dinner. I am attentive, delightful, and known to show a girl a good time.
I’m also not bad looking.
But I digress! I got a date offer from one Mr. Crystal Mighty:
As you can see, she’s a trans man (as evidenced by the double mastectomy scars) - or, as I call her - a woman and she would very much like a date with me so that I have the chance to prove that trans men are women - a skewed take on The Ferguson Challenge.
I’m afraid I am going to decline this request; not because you’re not a woman (you obviously are) or that you look like a dude (well, yeah, that’s sort of it, I admit) but that you have two other flaws that make you a complete turn-off.
You are mentally disturbed and it shows.
You have opted to walk tits first into a meat grinder and have your otherwise healthy breasts removed because “muh genderz” and not because you had breast cancer or some other mitigating disease that would necessitate their removal.
You know who does that? You know who cuts off body parts of themselves for reasons only known to them? Only someone with a serious mental illness.
And you know what’s even more amazing? That when you told your friends and family that you were going to do this NOT ONE OF THEM stood up and said, “Hey, wait a second…”
Or, maybe they did, and you just went ahead and did it anyway which begs a question: because of your obvious mental illness - and it is - how many of your friends and family are still around not having otherwise disowned you before you and your mental illness dragged them into Hell with you?
How much did your navel gazing actually cost you in terms of friends and family when they couldn’t watch you mutilate yourself? How much did you actually lose in that exchange?
Oh, what’s that? Yeah, I promised you that you weren’t going to like what I had to say and that I was going to be perfectly honest with you.
How am I doing so far?
The thing is, Crystal, most humans - well, most normal humans of which you have long parted company - pick up on obvious visual cues that make other people attractive to them: a hardwired evolutionary instinct that has kept our species and the progenitors of us going for the last 4 million years like, oh…maybe, for example, someone who doesn’t evidence of having themselves mutilated for no apparent reason other than purely psychological.
And that’s exactly what Gender Dysphoria is: it’s all in your head as there’s absolutely no way to test for it because it’s all down to your good faith belief and since people have all kinds of really crazy, kooky beliefs (see: Donald Trump) there really is no way to know for sure if you truly are dysphoric if you’re just not otherwise mentally ill and should have been in therapy.
My grandfather (GRHS) once gave me a really awesome piece of advice when I turned 18 when he told me to never stick your dick in crazy and what he meant was it was never, ever a good idea to date, initiate a romantic or sexual relationship with a person who is suffering an obvious mental illness or even looks like they’re suffering a mental illness.
You look very much to me like someone suffering from a mental illness and this is one of two reasons why I - or any other normal person - would not, NOT date you and why I - or any other normal person - would deem you unsuitable.
It’s also why men - straight men - who say Trans Women Are Women are lying through their fucking teeth and the reason why they would never date, fuck or marry a transwoman or a transman: at least I am honest about why I wouldn’t and why I continue to say Trans Women Are Men.
Another thing:
The testosterone you are injecting in your veins is unnatural and is eventually going to cripple, likely kill you.
Another thing about other humans we find attractive is that they look fit and not look like they’re sick and dying and while that doesn’t seem to be the case with you right now, that’s just right now.
I wonder what you’re going to look like 10, maybe 15-20 years from now.
Will you still have a full head of hair? Will you still have muscle mass or will all your hair recede and your muscle tone all turns to fat - because it will as the very thing that makes you look a man (and the only thing that makes you look that way) is so far out of the mainstream of modern medical standards that it is not yet anywhere reflected in basic prescribing reference materials, even as an off-label use.
It’s actually making you sick and will probably kill you from the comorbidities that cluster around prolonged use.
What? Your doctor said is was safe? Your doctor might be right but the thing is, Crystal, this gender medicine thing is quite new and there’s a lot of study that still needs to be done but what studies have been done don’t look so good for you.
And there’s also every chance that your doctor is being paid by the very pharma companies that make the testosterone treatments you’re taking.
Studies promoting this treatment as “safe and effective” are generally limited to a few dozen patients and a year or two of follow up. A review article in the Lancet published in April 2016 touted as providing “an evidence-based overview of the benefits, risks, and effects of testosterone therapy in transgender men” observed that “testosterone decreases HDL (good) cholesterol, increases triglycerides, might increase systolic blood pressure, and might increase the incidence of [type 2] diabetes and metabolic syndrome” but was forced to ultimately conclude that the long term effects are largely unknown due to “a paucity of high-quality data” in this area, a disclaimer found in most articles regarding cross-sex hormone treatment.
…largely unknown due to “a paucity of high-quality data” (that means “very little) in this area, a disclaimer found in most articles regarding cross-sex hormone treatment.
So they basically don’t know and since you don’t know that means I also don’t know and, because of this unknown, I find it and you to be an unacceptable risk.
You’ll excuse me if I think you medicalized for life and dying on me soon isn’t getting me all hot and bothered - I don’t think it’s attractive and certainly nobody who isn’t otherwise mentally unwell sees it that way.
I really don’t want to have to take on the burden of medical expenses for someone else and something that was completely self-inflicted and pretty much why I quit smoking: nobody wants to take on the expenses of chemotherapy or a complete lung transplant unless I give up the cancer sticks and your prolonged use of testosterone is fraught with too many potential hazards, not at all unlike smoking.
Or doing heroin.
Or smoking meth.
Or having unprotected sex.
Or injecting yourself with hormones that don’t have a lot of study into their efficacy and safety to back them up.
Yes, you might avoid all the horrible side effects of T. Might. Then again, you might not. No way to tell and, frankly, I really think that’s too much of a gamble that I, indeed any normal person, can ill afford.
In conclusion, I deem you to be suffering from a mental illness and engaging in potentially high-risk health hazards and because of this I cannot, in any conscience, date you.
Truthfully, nobody otherwise physically unhealthy and mentally ill should and I wouldn’t advise the former or latter to get involved.
One more thing:
You have been female your entire life so you can’t possibly think that you have an idea what it means to be me, a male. Everything about your maleness that I can do naturally and with ease comes to you by way of a bottle of testosterone that if you were to stop using you’d go right back to looking female again.
And I kind of wish you would but, really, that’s not up to me.
Why I Won't Date A Trans Man
Reason Number Three: your body is gross.
The reason there are no longitudinal studies of these experimental treatments is because the "trans" activists now that the results will not be favorable and so they deluge the organizations conducting the studies with shrieks of "transphobia!!!" and get the researchers fired.
And the suicide rate among the "transitioned," 7-10 years on, is one of the highest ever recorded.
To paraphrase Mae West, “All potatoes and no meat”